In Memorium Charlie Kirk October 14, 1993 – September 10, 2025

Wednesday, September 10, 2025, at 12:23 pm Mountain Time a 31-year-old man, a husband and father of two young children, went to be with Jesus. It was 1:23 here, I’d just got home from work, and I began to follow the news reports, although from what I could see of that first post, his body would not be able to sustain life after such an injury.

His death was not pronounced until after 2 pm, but most believe the death occurred at 12:23 instantaneously and that, thankfully, he was unable to process what was happening or experience any pain from it. So, in effect, he went from witnessing about Jesus to being in His Presence in the blink of an eye. 2 Corinthians 5:8

Immediately, condolences started flooding Facebook from those most impacted by his death, his close friends and associates, the President and Vice President, and me though I had never met him.

At the same time, celebratory comments began to trickle in which were absolutely appalling! Due to the age in which we live, those comments were shared, and some of the recipients with whom they were shared have been instrumental in seeing those individuals removed from positions of power and influence, especially power and influence over our children.

The posts, good and bad, continue today and have caused me to come to the decision that I need a break from FB. Further blog posts will not be mentioned on FB unless someone else wants to talk about them there.

Many posts stated that Charlie Kirk was assassinated for political reasons. His alleged killer was raised in a conservative household with conservative values but was “radicalized” probably at least in part by his college.

But there is something more significant going on here. Clearly there is a spiritual aspect to this that cannot be ignored. Charlie was the first well-known and influential American to be killed for his faith on American soil.

Consider other Christian martyrs in the halls of HIStory. I did a quick Google search and found a lengthy list. Aside from Jesus’ disciples, all but two of whom were martyred, the following individuals whose names I recognize were included:

Paul (Greek name Saul of Tarsus, writer of a large portion of the New Testament)

Mark (writer of the Gospel of Mark)

Luke (writer of the Gospel of Luke and the book of the Acts of the Apostles)

Timothy

Philemon

Polycarp of Smyrna

Justin Martyr

Joan of Arc

William Tyndale

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Jim Elliott

Charlie Kirk was not on the list. Of course, this list was generated by Wikipedia which stated in the opening paragraph that it “is a dynamic list and may never be able to satisfy particular standards for completeness.”

My guess is that Charlie’s name will soon appear on that list.

In just 4 days, I’ve read several stories of young people (and older ones) who repented and gave their hearts to Jesus because of Charlie’s ministry, a ministry which continues even though he is with our Lord. Who knows how many there actually are and will be in the days, weeks, months, and years to come should Jesus tarry? 2 Peter 3:8-9

Oh, to have a witness that continues after I am gone!

I am not an influencer in any way, shape, or form. I am an elderly woman with professionally diagnosed level I autism (FKA Asperger’s). It is at least partially because of this that I am disengaging from FB, at least for a time until YHWH heals my heart. My only close friends are my children and sisters; aside from that all my “conversation” comes from what I read. What I’ve read recently has hurt me, and I must not look at FB right now.

Despite my “weird wiring”, YHWH has honored me by placing me somewhere I can minister to others, a handful of small rural churches in central Illinois. I’ve been doing this for several years now. Until today, I followed the advice of my mentors within that denomination to “avoid those verses that might get me in trouble” because there are plenty of other verses from which to choose.

Because I was not convinced that the wonderful people in those churches were all believers in the full Truth of Jesus Christ . . . or . . . had more progress to make in their sanctification journeys (the latter group includes me and everyone else still residing here in the land of the living Psalm 27:13), I believe YHWH wanted and wants me to remain right where I am, so, I pretty much followed that advice. The only time I veered resulted in a finger in my chest and a “what news channel to do you listen to?” from a congregant in one of the churches.

A finger in the chest is hardly the same thing as a bullet to the neck!

Today I was bold. This is because of the example of boldness displayed for me by this new martyr!

Although I spoke my original sermon from Acts 28:30-31 and my sermon was written out in its entirety (a practice I follow fairly strictly to avoid saying something I don’t intend to and which I can do fairly well since I can read as though I am speaking), I started the preaching time by reading Luke 12:49-59 and then correlating that to what I’ve been seeing on FB. What I shared was not written out beforehand, and I was afraid I would misspeak.

How many times does YHWH tell us in His Word not to be afraid?

I knew what I shared would not be well received by everyone there, and it was not. After church I was approached by one of the women whom I suspected might be offended and was able to counsel her about the Biblical basis for believing the way I do. I believe the words I spoke during the message and those I shared with her afterward will accomplish their intended purpose.

As I was reading the passage from Luke 12 out loud, some words. . . one word. . . struck me. Luke 12:55 reads “And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It will be hot,’ and it is.”

I wonder. . . is this true south of the equator?

When I received the paper describing my autism diagnosis, the psychologist was able to come up with three strengths: “intelligent, open to feedback, and curious.” Because I’m open to feedback, both positive and negative, and curious enough to do more research on dissenting opinions, please feel free to share your thoughts with me at my email address jacquelinemcdougall@ymail.com. Also, I pray and lovingly ask that you share this post with others. The name of my blog is JLM in Euroclydon.

Romans 8:28

Charlie Kirk is with Jesus.

That is not the only good thing to come from the bad thing of his assassination. One of those good things I shared in a previous paragraph.

Earlier today, I read something on FB speculating his beautiful widow, Erika, might make a good President. Maybe Vice President J D Vance read that post, too, and is considering her for a running mate.

On the other hand, her soul is the most important thing, and it would be so hard to maintain her relationship with YHWH in that position.

On the 3rd hand, one must remember Esther, though, and her being used by YHWH for “such as time as this.” Esther 4:14

Another good thing that is probably applicable to me only is that one of the devout men I follow on FB is probably not the greatest for me to follow as he is not a believer in Jesus. It is obvious from his recent FB posts that he is taking the death of Charlie very badly—sincere grief is written all over his countenance—and that may be affecting what he shares in his posts, but what he is saying makes it clear that followers of Jesus, including me, need to be more careful in whose teachings we follow, no matter how closely their moral compasses and/or political beliefs align with our own.

I have shared several Bible references in this post. Following one of them I shared the verse as well. However, I’m going to try to get away from that except when necessary for context, because. . .

. . .  I want you to look them up in your Bible. My prayer is that this post and other posts and writings of mine which you might stumble across out there will lead you closer to YHWH as you listen to Him for yourself when you look at what He has to say in your Bible.

God bless you. Shalom shalom.

Tree Tells a Story

When I was growing up Mom planted a sapling to the west of the house visible through the living and dining room windows. The tree grew and developed a beautiful shape, and each fall, it had the most glorious leaves. It was a sugar maple tree.

My first attempt at growing one came in approximately 1996 when I lived with my first husband on Lincoln Street in the town where our children were small.

The tree did well that first year, but sometime in the winter something broke the top half of it off. Since it had been a small tree, that reduced its height by about three feet. I wondered if it would live.

Often when I mowed the yard, YHWH would talk to me. That year as leaves popped out on the broken tree, it was as if He told me “That tree is you. It appeared to be destroyed by something. It appeared to be dead. But look! Life remains, and it will still be a beautiful thing to behold.”

My thinking, as it nearly always is, was about the past, that He was telling me something about how the dregs of my past would still result in great beauty. He was, but it was a bit more complicated than what had already passed. I’d had a difficult childhood due to severe bullying and my marriage was in its death throes. I thought this was His way of telling me the good times were about to begin.

Between 2 and 4 years later, on October 3, 1999, my marriage imploded. I don’t even know if that sugar maple tree remains, but I doubt it.

The kids and I left that home on Lincoln Street and embarked on a new life far (relatively) away.

In the spring of 2022, I restarted the sugar maple dream, and it became once again a (not the but a) route through which YHWH spoke to me.

When I planted it, it was about five feet tall. That fall, it didn’t put on much of a show with its leaves.

In 2023, to my surprise, a very tall branch sprang from the middle up toward the sky. For some reason, I’d thought new branches would appear all around the tree and be equally tall.

I continued to tend the tree carefully making sure to give it water in dry seasons. In the fall, the leaves of the lower branches did transform into things of beautiful colors, but not those on the tall branch in the middle.

This year, the same thing happened. The tall branch appeared in the middle and began to leaf out. A few weeks ago, the branches on the lowest part of the tree turned orange and yellow. Now, the branches in the middle part are turning. The leaves at the very top are still green. It may be memory is not working and the very top did change last year albeit very late. We’ll see what happens this year.

YHWH spoke to me again.

The growth I’m experiencing right now (yes, growth is possible even at the age of 63 or even 103) is happening but is not yet glorious. I need to wait on my Lord and His timing and keep renewing my mind (Romans 12:2) to make my thoughts more like His and hopefully be able to hear Him more readily when He speaks to me.

Shalom shalom, my friends.

Guest Post “Grace for Thomas. . . And Us” by Brittney Taylor

John 20:24-29
Up to this point Jesus had appeared to many of the disciples but Thomas had not yet seen the resurrected Christ. “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Thomas was one of the twelve disciples, a man who walked side by side with Jesus daily for years, a man who broke bread with the Son of God, a man who saw many miracles and wonders before his eyes. This is the man doubting Christ’s return.

Did Jesus rebuke Thomas for his doubt? Did He burn with anger at the unbelief and take away his salvation? No, far from it! Jesus offered himself to Thomas saying “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” How comforting it is to see Christ showing such mercy and grace to Thomas for his doubts!

Christ said “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” How blessed are we as those who have not seen yet have believed; and how much more comforting to know that during times of doubt Chris does not turn His head and fold His arms at us, but instead lovingly offers himself to us just as He did Thomas.
We all will face times of doubt. We all will have trials to come that will make it easy to forget the miracles we have seen God work in front of our eyes; that will make it easy to forget the One who has been beside us each and every day. May we turn towards Christ during these times, digging deeper into His word and into prayer.

Father, thank you for this sweet story tucked into scripture. Thank you for showing us such a beautiful example of Your mercy and grace and love for us. When doubt creeps in, may You hold onto us even stronger, reminding us of Your presence and the grace we have through Christ Jesus. Lord we believe, help us in our times of unbelief. Amen.

The Wonder of Chesed

I gave serious consideration to titling this “IS LOVE LOVE?” which is a rearrangement of words of a phrase currently in common use. The thing about love is. . . it comes from many different words, some Greek, one Latin. Here are 9 of them.

  • Agápe brotherly love, charity; the love of God for person and of person for God. Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one’s children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. In a couple months, I will be participating in a love feast when I take another Walk to Emmaus, this time working in the room that is called the Agape Chapel. It is a room where every one of the 50+ participants in a Walk to Emmaus retreat goes to be prayed over at one or more points during the weekend. There are usually 3-4 workers there who spend the entire 3 days praying, sometimes even staying overnight in the chapel praying when no one else is around. Sunday afternoon, following the closing ceremony every follower of Jesus leaves will a full serving of agape on board.
  • Éros love is romantic passion or love of the human body. This is the love that will be celebrated on Wednesday. It is also the cause of much sin.
  • Philia means affectionate regard, friendship, usually “between equals”. Philadelphia is called the city of brotherly love.
  • Storge means “love, affection especially of parents and children”. It is the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring. I believe it is also a supernaturally augmented by God, and I certainly experienced it myself upon the birth of each of my children.
  • Philautia means “self-love”. To love oneself has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness. We are instructed in the Bible to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mt 22:37-39). If we do not have love for ourself as a masterpiece of our great creator (Ps 139:14), what sort of love would we be giving our neighbor?
  • Xenia  describes the concept of hospitality, “guest-friendship”, or “ritualized friendship”.

Dictionary.com adds in

  • Mania is an obsessive love such as the type of love a stalker feels toward his/her victim.

And

  • Pragma is love based on duty, obligation, or logic

Those are all Greek words. In addition, there is the Latin word

  • Ludus means playful love. This could be likened to children at play. I think it is also the type of love being felt when one expresses a profound appreciation of something; i.e., I love chesed.

Truly love is not love. There’s more to it than that.

Agape love is, of course, the love most closely resembling that of YHWH toward us. But if you think about some of the original words for love, storge and even mania could be aspects of His feeling toward us. Mania? Really. Look at Psalm 23:6, Ezekiel 34:11 and Rev 3:20.

I don’t quote all the scriptures here; please look them up. Maybe one of them will become so relevant to you at your current stage in life that you will return to it again and again inadvertently memorizing it without even realizing you are doing so.

There have been several verses over the course of my life of serving YHWH that have been life changing. They don’t even necessarily include passages such as the 23rd Psalm, the Lord’s Prayer, or even John 3:16 although that one is our faith-defining verse. Here are some verses that have been life altering for me during different seasons of my life.

2 Timothy 1:7

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Jonah 2:8

Zephaniah 3:17

The one I’m using a lot right now is Romans 12:2

Each of these reads a bit differently in the translations I most enjoy. For example, the NASB translation of Jonah 2:8: “Those who are followers of worthless idols abandon their faithfulness.” I mean, that’s good, right? But it wouldn’t have necessarily leapt off the page at me in that translation. Now the OJB version: “They that observe lying vanities forsake their own chesed.”

Wow!

The word chesed is a Hebrew word which could also mean love, but really means so much more than that.

When I first read that verse, this is the picture my mind created.

That is, of course, not the type of vanity YHWH was speaking of when he gave Jonah these words. But I think it fits. The reflection you see looking in the mirror is the same image the world sees. It is chesed, though, that tells the truth, not vanity, not this vanity and not the vanities Jonah speaks of which translate into worthless idols. It is not even love or at least some of its forms.

For a more complete picture of the original meaning of Jonah 2:8, please visit https://claudemariottini.com/2010/03/16/forsaking-their-%E2%80%9Chesed%E2%80%9D/ written by Claude Mariottini. It provides one of the best explanations of chesed (sometimes spelled with an “h” instead of a “ch”) I’ve read AND will explain why I think chesed is a superior word to love.

When you are comparing Bible translations, you should always do so under guidance of Holy Spirit. Here’s one good reason.

Recently I came across the following on FB posted by a renowned worship leader I follow. “With my whole heart, with my whole life, and with my innermost being, I bow in wonder and love before you, the holy God! YAHWEH, you are my soul’s celebration. How could I ever forget the miracles of kindness you’ve done for me? You kissed my heart with forgiveness, in spite of all I’ve done. You’ve healed me inside and out from every disease. You’ve rescued me from hell and saved my life. You’ve crowned me with love and mercy. You satisfy my every desire with good things. You’ve supercharged my life so that I soar again like a flying eagle in the sky!”

Surely she was citing the words to one of the worship songs she wrote. Then I discovered that was not the case. She was quoting Psalm 103:1-5. I LOVED (ludus, anyone?) it, but having read the Psalms many times, I didn’t recall ever reading those words there. Then I saw the translation she was using. The Passion Translation.

This has been in past years one of my favorites, and I used it frequently in sermons.

However, in 2022 Bible Gateway, which I also use a lot, made the decision to remove The Passion Translation from its list of 90 English translations/paraphrases. The Living Bible and The Message, both of which are considered paraphrases rather than translations, are still present on Bible Gateway. When I was a teenager I received something called “The Way” as a gift from my parents. It’s the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs in the Living Bible which was at the time considered a translation. Not relevant, but don’t the 2 guys on the bottom look like Kevin Tighe and Randolph Mantooth from Emergency?

The difference between a translation and a paraphrase?

I couldn’t really find a reasonable explanation on a google search, but this is what I believe which may or not be correct. A translation takes the original text and translates it into the English language (or the language of the reader) using the same words. A paraphrase takes the original text and rewrites it to convey the presumed meaning of the original text. This makes the rendering of the paraphrase open to the interpretation of the one who compiles it. . . and. . . it may not completely reflect YHWH’s thoughts. Bible Gateway deems that both the Living Bible and The Message are acceptable but not The Passion Translation. Why?

The gist of the reasoning behind this seems to be that

  1. The Passion Translation’s creator maintains it is a translation rather than a paraphrase.
  2. He states his intention in its creation was to quote “expand the essential meaning of the original language by highlighting the essence of God’s original message” endquote.

Do not those 2 things contradict one another?

So, in recent years I’ve been using TPT as a devotional rather than the Word of God. Devotionals are helpful in gaining a better understanding of God and His Word. Devotionals are not the Word of God.

Here is another example of TPT text.

“Pray like this: ‘Our Beloved Father, dwelling in the heavenly realms, may the glory of your name be the center on which our lives turn. Manifest your kingdom realm, and cause your every purpose to be fulfilled on earth, just as it is in heaven. We acknowledge you as our Provider of all we need each day. Forgive us the wrongs we have done as we ourselves release forgiveness to those who have wronged us. Rescue us every time we face tribulation and set us free from evil. For you are the King who rules with power and glory forever. Amen.’”

Did you recognize those words?


They are the Passion Translation version of the Lord’s Prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13. One phrase does not appear in any form in the version of The Lord’s Prayer we use which comes from the Book of Common Prayer and most closely resembles the words found in the New Matthew Bible (that’s a new one for me that I need to check out) translation. Nor does this phrase appear in any other Bible translation.

“Rescue us from every tribulation.”

This illustrates a possible explanation for why Bible Gateway no longer provides TPT in any of its 90 Bible translations/paraphrases. One only has to look at the situations faced by Christians in other countries, particularly 3rd world countries, to see that God does not always “rescue us from tribulation”.

Clearly, there are a lot of Bibles out there, especially in America. If you are a Christian, Holy Spirit lives within you; but is He leading you? He will not steer you wrong regarding the Word of God. I don’t believe He has steered me wrong in choosing chesed over love.

These 3 human beings, all Valentine’s babies, showed me chesed to the best of their abilities:

On the left is my father-in-law by my first marriage, in the middle is my wonderful Rod, and on the right is my Grandma Stauffer who died when I was 7 years old. Now they are members of the great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1-2) cheering me on.

On Wednesday, when you think about the day that we celebrate, remember the word chesed and that it not only means the versions of love that we could attribute to YHWH but it includes mercy, grace, faithfulness, true loyalty, commitment, covenant, and even the Creator, YHWH Himself. There is capital T Truth to the statement God is chesed and, therefore, chesed is chesed; and it is truly wonderful.

Shalom.

4 Dimensional YHWH

Yesterday, during my coaching call with my Revelation Within coach, we discussed YHWH’s 4 dimensionality

I had heard this discussed recently by, I believed at the time, one of my favorite podcasters (my favorite outside Heidi and Christina) that God is 4 dimensional, but we humans live in a 3-dimensional world; that’s a big part of the dichotomy we experience. Thinking about it, though, I believe instead of Brant Hanson it might have been my current favorite preacher from whom I heard this tidbit of wisdom. He may have shared the verse, but I didn’t write it down and didn’t remember it.

Yesterday, Christina and I visited Romans 8:38-39 which is similar but not exactly the same.

This morning, when I opened my HIStory Bible, my reading was in Ephesians 4. This is what I read: verse 16 really jumped out at me “that He would GRANT YOU, ACCORDING TO THE RICHES OF HIS GLORY, TO BE STRENGTHENED WITH POWER THROUGH HIS SPIRIT IN THE INNER SELF, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, and that you , being rooted and grounded in love may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is THE WIDTH AND HEIGHT AND LENGTH AND DEPTH , and to know the love of Christ which SURPASES KNOWLEDGE that you may be filled to all the goodness of God.” Every word is great, but I’ve capped the ones that are especially relevant to me.

I love how YHWH knows my thoughts, those I speak and those I don’t. He is such a personal, intimate, knowing bridegroom (knowing surpasses knowledge). And I’m so glad the Bible doesn’t call Him a husband, rather a bridegroom, the one who stands at the front of the church as you enter and His eyes nearly pop out of His head and a big grin appears on His face when he first sees you in all your bridal attire. Not the one with whom you have “words” over the children, the bills, the house, etc.

So, I Did a Thing. . .

“It is what it is”

“Strode”

“Slather”

“So, I did a thing”

These are just a few words/phrases that, for no obvious reason, rub me the wrong way when I see them in print. This is by no means all of them. They are not things I’ve ever said. I don’t know if this is an oddity of being on the spectrum or if it’s just an oddity of being me. I asked my son recently why people preface FB pictures of tattoos and new hairdos with “So, I did a thing” I didn’t 100% agree with his explanation, but it certainly fits the gist of this blog, so I’m going to use it.

I’d been following the revival taking place at Asbury University in Lexington, Kentucky, since its start weeks ago on a Wednesday following morning chapel. It was interesting, and I was curious about how long it might continue. Clearly, it was instigated by God, so maybe it would go on until He sent Jesus back to earth.

Alas, human logistics stepped in, and it concluded last week.

Eight days ago, I was in my office finishing up the bulletins and power point slide shows for Sunday’s service.

“I should go”

The thought wouldn’t leave. I prayed, sought Godly counsel, yet it remained.

So the next day, I did a thing.

Raspberry Shortcake and I started what I thought would be a 6-hour (but turned out to be a 7-hour) trip across a large portion of Illinois and Indiana and a smaller part of Kentucky until we reached my lodgings for the night, a place called Shaker Village.

Travel: 1. Listened to Shane Idleman podcasts the whole way. Excellent way to get myself in the right frame of mind. 2. No car trouble. 3. Didn’t get “lost” until I left I64 to Harrodsburg. This was near Shaker Village, but it was dark & I couldn’t see my instructions. In Harrodsburg, there was a sign for the road to Shaker Village which God allowed me with my nightblindness to see.

Shaker Village reception had an escort who led in his truck down a winding road to the West House, a distance of about 2 miles. He went with me to my room to make sure I got in. The building had dual staircases, just like the old Chestnut Grade School (didn’t realize it had been designed by a Shaker). My room was beautiful. Hard-wood floors, old-style furnishings & NO TV—thus, no distractions. I fell asleep listening to a Westside Christian Fellowship Service from that morning.

The next morning I drove straight to Asbury. The 10-mile road between Shaker Village and Asbury was twisty, hilly, and it was never possible to achieve the posted speed limit of 55 on the straightaways because there really weren’t any. 20 minutes were required to travel the 10 miles. I made a mental note to leave the revival before dark.

After leaving the twisty-turny road, the university was easy to find. What was not was a parking space. I drove around several times before finally remembering to ask for help. No, I didn’t go to a gas station.

15 seconds after asking God, there was a spot. The parking lot said “Residents Only,” but I took my chances.

It was a 2-block walk to what looked like the beginning of the line. The weather was great on February 23 in Kentucky, a little overcast but not cold enough to require a winter coat.

I don’t think there were 10s of thousands of people but there were certainly thousands in the line I entered at about 10 am. Oldsters were to be permitted into Hughes Auditorium at 2 pm. Only 4 hours to go. Okay. Father, help me.

It may seem like a crazy thing to some that a 61-year-old widowed grandma would make such a pilgrimage in her car and then on her feet.

Thank God He did not think so. This was confirmed by the personality of the 1st person I spoke to in the line. It was obvious after about 5 seconds of conversation that the 12-year-old boy was on the high functioning end of the spectrum. He and I spent the next hour to hour and a half talking about his interests which included facts about the revival, engineering, and chess. His mom and some other people from his church were with him, and I introduced myself. That group eventually left the line and I did not see any of them again. This happened several times throughout the day, and I felt blessed to have met them for however long a duration.

Fairly early in the day, an older gentleman began playing a shofar and explaining what each of the melodies represented. That afternoon, another older gentleman in the line who was probably a pastor prayed for him because he was experiencing severe hip pain. The hip pain vanished and he was left only with some tiredness. But maybe we were all feeling that.

There were prayer circles, prayer duos, worship leaders, throughout the line. The Salvation Army was handing out bottled water and snacks. Several times, I thought about how many times I’ve stood in a line (granted, a shorter line) at places like Six Flags for a ride that amounts to less than 5 minutes. The anticipated “ride” at the end of this line was far superior.

The line continually advanced, but there didn’t appear to be anyone going into the auditorium which was now visible to the naked eye.

2 pm came and went, and I was still in line. No one around me was commenting on this, though, and everyone was still in great spirits. Those who grew too tired or worried about their children or their own health, went to some chapels which were simulcasting the Hughes revival. I was starting to feel pretty bad with arthritis being felt in the knees, hips, back, and hands; but I never felt clear direction from God to go to one of the alternate chapels.

Shofar man and his wife, Lisa, and another woman with them were now in front of me in the line. It looked like we would be going in about 4 pm. That would give us 1 hour in The Presence.

We submitted to a cursory search for weapons and then were on the dozen or so steps leading to the auditorium. As they went in, I became separated from shofar man and his group and was again alone. There was a young man who had been slightly ahead of me in line who was also alone. The person tending the door asked everyone how many were in our group. He and I both said “one”. The attendant began calling groups in and said he would get to us. Apparently, the young man noticed this too because he asked me if I’d like to be part of a group of two, and of course I said yes. We got in right after that.

We were shown to seats on the main floor about halfway to the front and sat together. We exchanged names, and unfortunately I don’t remember his, but it was something like Reynaldo.

There were a guitarist, a vocalist, a pianist, and a drum of the sort that is held between the knees and beat on with the hands. Those were the only instruments. The guitarist, pianist, and obviously the vocalist led us in worship choruses, some familiar, some not. They taught us a new chorus based on the portion of the Sermon on the Mount that has to do with Blessed are the peacemakers.

No one ever told us to stand up, raise our hands, shout, or even sing. They let God instruct us. There was great liberty. Which was really great for me because I could no longer stand.

At 5, the guitarist told the Gen Zers, as they were called, to find a place to have supper so the oldsters, some of whom were still standing in line outside and had been for some time, could share in the experience. All the youngsters gathered their things and left. More oldsters came in, and seats were exchanged to make room for them. Reynaldo and I prayed for one another while this was going on. But the music never stopped. The worship never stopped. Everything ran very smoothly.

Recovered, I was able to stand, and had no difficulty doing so for the last hour. I made the most of the liberty, listening for what I thought my Father wanted me to experience. I was not disappointed. The long drive, the 6-hour stand with a few steps interspersed, the fact that I would be traversing that twisty, bendy road after dark, were worth it.

A few weeks ago, Pastor Larry Moreau preached about the Mount of Transfiguration stating it was his belief that there were times when the veil between heaven and earth was thinner than usual; the experience shared by Peter, James, and John was one such time. I believe revivals are such a time.

Did I have an experience like that shared by Peter, James, and John? Or even the woman who posted on FB that she was overcome with tears on simply approaching the auditorium?

No. I didn’t cry at all.

But my soul was revived.

Sometimes I think YHWH just wants to see if we’ll listen to Him and do His will. So, although there were no supernatural manifestations for this attendee, unless you count the fact that I was able to walk and stand for 6 hours on knees that need replaced, it was a blessing and continues to be so now nearly a week after my return home.

The Asbury revival has ended, but many others continue throughout our great land. If you feel God directing you to go. . . Go.

Acts 2:17

Don’t Throw Out the Baby

Nicodemus & Mary Magdalene

“The Chosen” is a crowd-funded television series which seeks to narrate the ministry of Jesus when he walked with His disciples. It adheres to the Bible, but adds details which may or may not have been fully developed in stories of Jesus and his followers within the gospels.

I’ve only seen season 1, the first episode several times, and it arguably remains my favorite. Arguably because there are many others that are so good, too.

The 1st two episodes of season 3 will be showing in theaters beginning in a few days, and I’m hoping to view these on the big screen.

In recent days, “The Chosen” has experienced controversy due to the following statement Jesus, as portrayed by Jonathan Roumie, makes.

“I am the law.”

Jesus does not say this in the Bible. What he does say is “″Do not believe that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come in order to abolish them, but in order to fulfill them.″ And in Romans 10:4 Paul states “Christ is the culmination of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.”

Even if this is more than a matter of semantics, which I’m not convinced it is, what bearing does it have on the fact that Jesus is Our Savior, Lord, Master, and Friend?

This is not a valid reason to discontinue receiving the great benefits of this wonderful series. The scene at the end of the first episode between Jesus and Mary Magdalene does not occur in the Bible, only its aftermath is referenced; however, any fringe person such as myself and many readers of this blog cannot help but be touched by the compassion displayed by the actor who so vividly portrays what I imagine Jesus would have done and said in just such a situation. It augments through the senses of vision and hearing what believers already feel in their hearts. If an unbeliever is watching, how could they not be moved?

Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Over the past 40+ years I’ve experienced a variety of Christian ministries, both in terms of denominations and in terms of ministers/pastors/reverends. One of the sermons that left the most lasting impression with me was by an evangelist who visited a large church my late husband and I attended.

He revisited the story of Jesus after his resurrection having breakfast with his disciples on the lakeshore. This is in John 21.

The disciples had been fishing and had caught nothing. There was a man on the shore who told them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat. Miraculously, their nets were so full they could not easily be hauled to the shore.

After this miracle Peter realized the man on the shore was Jesus. I love Peter. He made a lot of mistakes and got in trouble with his mouth, but when he realized Jesus was there, he jumped in the water rather than wait for the boat to transport him to the shore.

After they all reached land, verse 9 says “When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.”

The fish on the coals could not have been the bounty the disciples had just caught because in the next verse Jesus says, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” (v. 10)

Where did the bread and fish come from? Was Jesus just carrying them around?

The evangelist next took us back to Matthew chapter 4:3-4: “3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”

4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ”

Jesus, having fasted 40 days and nights was hungry and certainly could have turned a stone into bread.

The morning at the lakeshore, satan (the tempter) was there, too. I don’t think he ever really goes away. The evangelist speculated that Jesus was “showing off.” He had turned stones into the bread that he and the disciples enjoyed that morning to spite the devil! Although the evangelist didn’t go there, it’s possible he caused the fish he had cooked to jump out of the lake and into his skillet!

There is nothing in the Bible to confirm these miracles, but they do correlate with what the Bible does tell us about Jesus.

Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Other times, I’ve heard pastors make outright mistakes. One talked about Noah and his daughters and their husbands boarding the ark. Genesis 7:13 “On that very day Noah and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth, together with his wife and the wives of his three sons, entered the ark.” Does this mistake make that pastor a heretic?

Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

I’ve also had occasion more than once to ask pastors “What do you think about Jesus?” or “Do you believe Jesus is The Way to Heaven?”

Most of the time I was satisfied with the answers. There was one man, though, a minister for more than 40 years, who answered the 2nd question with “I believe Jesus is A Way to Heaven.” Articles are important!

Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Pray for people, especially those in positions of authority within the Church, who make false and dangerous statements such as that made above.

Jesus is THE WAY.

Don’t throw them out. Again, pray for them fervently. Their souls depend on it. But be very careful with regard to everything else they attempt to teach you.

This is one reason the Bible advises not to follow a man. This is found in what many consider to be the middle verse of the Bible, Psalm 118:8 “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.” Follow The Man (again, articles are important), Jesus Christ. You are known by Him. Know Him. Then you will be able to easily to discern what is good and true. (Phil 4:8)

God bless you greatly in all you do.

Being Still

Psalm 46:10

What does the first part of that verse even mean?

What does it look like?

As I write these words, I am sitting in my comfy chair with my laptop listening for the voice of God to direct my words.

Am I practicing “stillness before God?”

For years, I’ve heard others, especially women, talk about their “quiet time” with God which seems to occur most often in the morning either directly or shortly after waking. My assumption was always that this was a reference to a period they devoted to God through prayer, Bible study, and devotions. Those certainly can be “quiet” times with God. But two of those require the turning of pages, and all three require engaging the brain either in conversation with God or in reading. For this writer, it also requires the creation of a spreadsheet to track how on track I am with my endeavors.

Are these activities practicing stillness before God?

Back to my comfy chair. . . Even if I were not typing these words, not playing a game on my phone, not crocheting or knitting or eating, not scrolling through my FB feeds, not listening to a podcast, not doing several of these things at the same time, seemingly not doing anything at all. . .my hyperactive mind would still be racing in a million different chaotic directions.

Is it even possible to “be still and know that I am God”?

The original Hebrew word for “be still” is “raphah” which refers to “that which is slack” or “to let drop.” It can also mean “sink down, relax, let go, cease striving, or withdraw.”

As an aspie, I find them all problematic. Those of you not on the spectrum, how do you feel about this?

For as long as I can remember as an adult, I’ve wanted a sugar maple tree in my yard. Last spring, I planted one. This photo reveals the fruit of my labors, the beautiful multi-colored leaves of autumn, even though there aren’t very many of them.

God has revealed several truths to me through this little tree, but this is the one that fits today.

The tree does not appear to be doing a thing. Granted, this is a still photo, but trust me, when I was taking the photo, it was just standing there not striving at all. Its growth was certainly not such that it could be seen with the naked eye, even though its appearance is far different from the twig I planted last spring.

Being still before God is like that. It requires no effort at all.

Unlike the tree, though, thoughts good and bad have made it feel unnatural to sit still and do absolutely nothing except know I AM (YHWH).

So. . . I started with an amount of time I thought even I could achieve. I set the timer on my phone for 1 minute.

Attempted to picture God. A great light with no definable facial features.

He was embracing me.

I recently read that for an embrace to have lasting benefit it needs to last for at least 20 seconds. I’ve been blessed recently to be the recipient of several such hugs. And if I was the recipient, surely that must mean I was the giver as well.

There had been a long dry period preceding that group of hugs.

Although we cannot physically “feel” the effects of our Father’s hugs, I believe that being still before Him gives even greater benefit, at least until the day we can receive them from Him physically.

So, my “quiet time” is really a time of “ceasing striving.” That is the definition of raphah that best describes what it feels like when I am being still. Maybe one of the other definitions better describes what it feels like for you.

It is only after the being still, the ceasing striving, that the time of prayer, Bible reading, and devotions begins. And truly, the few times I’ve practiced this practice so far have been of tremendous benefit to the rest of my activities for the day. . . and to my soul.

For example, today, I discovered a new podcast called “Gratefully Nourished” and through that a new author named Ruth Haley Barton whose most recent book is titled “Sacred Rhythms” amongst which of the rhythms is being still before God and an older one called “Invitation to Solitude and Silence.” Both have been added to my list of books I would like to read.

How amazing, but not really considering the omnipresence of YHWH, that He would reinforce what He is trying to teach me via so many media.

Be still–cease striving–and know and be greatly blessed by YHWH.

Redound?

There are several podcasts I follow. In one of them, Stirring Words, one of the hostesses, Kimberly Taylor, said that she’d been “slow reading” her Bible. This is the opposite approach to what I’ve always done.

She said she wouldn’t even take a whole chapter, just a portion of a chapter as divided by subheadings, and ponder that during her devotional time. So, I the speed reader, decided to give it a try.

My Bible is an AMPC translation which does not have subheadings. My bookmark was at the beginning of 1st Peter.

This past weekend I served at a Christian Women’s retreat of which I’ve been a part for several years. Not surprisingly, this was filled with good and bad. The good is obvious, women’s lives were changed. Several of these women either were, or had children who were, on the autism spectrum, and my talk had a focus on that challenging aspect of my spiritual walk.

The bad, satan was on the attack. The latter normally takes the form of subtle mental and/or physical attacks. This time, it became very clear by the end of the weekend that the attack was occurring on a spiritual plane in the supernatural realm.

Nonetheless, I persevered despite a severe Aspie meltdown Saturday evening and a few physical issues, along with an obvious attack on my brain and spirit (two separate parts of a human being). During the last activity of the retreat, God allowed me to see that what I thought was a mental issue was in reality a spiritual attack. I sought prayer from people I trusted. . . and . . .

Monday was a new day, and it was a free day. It was wonderful.

First on the agenda, read and ingest 1 Peter chapter 1.

The first few verses were great with much truth revealed and ingested; but then came verse 7 which reads: “So that [the genuineness] of your faith may be tested, [your faith] which is infinitely more precious than the perishable gold which is tested and purified by fire. [This proving of your faith is intended] to redound to [your] praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) is revealed.

On first read, it seemed as though something new had happened—I had discovered a misprint in my Bible. That has never happened before!

Redound? Never heard of it! Surely it should say “rebound”! Even if that didn’t make a lot of sense in the context.

Research revealed the following:

Definition redound:

“contribute greatly to (a person’s credit or honor):

“his latest diplomatic effort will redound to his credit”

synonyms:

contribute to · be conducive to · result in · lead to · effect · have an effect on · affect · conduce to

contribute greatly to (a person’s credit or honor):

“his latest diplomatic effort will redound to his credit”

synonyms:

contribute to · be conducive to · result in · lead to · effect · have an effect on · affect · conduce to

So, 1 Peter 1:7 could be interpreted as:

So that [the genuineness] of your faith may be tested, [your faith] which is infinitely more precious than the perishable gold which is tested and purified by fire. [This proving of your faith is intended] to contribute greatly to [your] praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) is revealed.

In other words, the spiritual attack (yes, there is no other word that describes some of the things that happened over the weekend) was a testing of the genuineness of my faith, which is more precious than gold, and would result greatly in my praise and glory and honor when Jesus is revealed; I will get to hear him say “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

What a blessing! And what evidence of the truth of Romans 8:28!

The blessings continued on Monday. I got a good chunk of work done around the house.

And I had some fun starting to crochet this beautiful scarf which is made out of a worsted weight merino/nylon blend called “Autumn Brew” made by Bad Sheep Yarn https://badsheepyarn.com. Check out their website—they have some beautiful colorways.

That’s all for today. Will try to be more diligent about updating this thing more frequently.

God bless you in all you do.

For the Love of Ivan

It had been the dream for years—to own a member of the doodle family, to experience and bestow the unconditional love I knew they were capable of. Plus, I believed he would be an emotional support for me as I dealt with the myriad of mental health issues on my plate.

Finally, on my birthday in 2020, I was notified I had been selected to have my own berniedoodle, whose name was Ivan. His cost was lower than his siblings because he didn’t have the so-sought-after tri-color markings. He was pretty much a black puppy with a little bit of white on his chest and under his nose and mouth. He had a sweet expression on beautiful face, and I fell instantly in love with just his picture.

My daughter and I took the 2-day road trip to the town where he was being socialized by a wonderful family. Neither Jordan nor I is familiar with driving in mountainous regions, and this part of the southeastern United States had plenty of them. But she didn’t complain, even in my 5-speed manual, and we arrived at our destination on a Friday morning.

Ivan was exactly like his pictures – only bigger and had lost some of his puppiness. But he was still absolutely gorgeous and so sweet.

We settled back in the car with Ivan on whom the middle name of Zoltov (because he looked a little Russian and both Ivan and Zoltov sounded Russian to me) was bestowed.

Over the next year and 2 months, Ivan was exactly the puppy I’d dreamed of.

Except. . . my young granddaughters were terrified of him because of his size. As of this writing he weighs 68 pounds and is quite muscular.

My cat never warmed up to him. He loves her; she hates him.

I came to believe I was the only human who truly loved him, and a big part of that was because of how beautiful he is.

Then came the cancer scare.

I am still under testing, and it is not known if the colon cancer has returned, but at some point I will more than likely be facing some type of abdominal surgery. 10 years ago, the colon cancer surgeries left me with a massive abdominal wound which took months to heal, an ostomy, and a bedsore which also took months to heal.

What would I do this time with my husband now gone and a 68-pound dog wanting to jump on me at every opportunity? I consulted my groomer. In the past, her partner had known someone who wanted a doodle. My groomer, who is also my cousin wanted a physical picture of him and an ad to try and rehome him. She also suggested I talk to my vet.

I called the vet, not really expecting anything. But the receptionist called me back after just a few minutes and told me one of the practice’s vets might be interested in Ivan. He called me that weekend, and I gave him the details about my puppy, but he did not call me back. . .

Until yesterday morning. Around a month later.

He said he couldn’t take Ivan because he already had a doodle, but he knew someone who might be interested. Could he give them my phone number? Yes.

I exchanged phone calls, texts, and emails with Ivan’s potential new mommy throughout the day at home and at work.

At 7 o’clock Ivan’s new family arrived. He and I were on the porch, he on his leash.

He was so excited when they got out of their SUV. It was the parents and the two younger children, an 11-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl. Ivan was all over them. They weren’t afraid of him. Ivan really liked the dad, too; and the dad seemed to like him. The mom told me they lived on a farm. The farm had goats and a small pond. Ivan would never have to be on a leash. He would be sleeping with the boy instead of in a crate. It sounded like doggy heaven.

We loaded all Ivan’s accoutrements into their vehicle and lastly Ivan. He went willingly. I blew him a kiss, and he was gone.

As expected, I was sad after they left. I turned to my old standby to make me feel better. The local pizza place delivered their specialty within 30 minutes. My intentions were to binge on the whole 13-inch pizza.

But I have been listening recently to a lot of YouTube videos and podcasts about the neuroplasticity of the brain (transformation of the mind (Romans 12:2) and how this plasticity can be used to help one with disordered eating. Even though I haven’t fully “grasped” or put one (Ephesians 4:24) the principals, I rarely binge anymore and my problems are more in the realm of overeating. I stopped with 3 of the 8 pieces and put the rest in the refrigerator.

Then I watched the first episode of “The Chosen” once again. Even though I think I’ve seen it four times now, that last scene between Jesus and Mary Magdalene still touches something deep inside, and it did even last night. It made me forget about Ivan being gone from my life. When Jesus told Mary “You are mine,” he might have been speaking to me. It was an actor portraying Jesus, and even though he does a spectacular job, I suspect when Jesus says those to me, it will touch something even deeper within me. I eagerly await that day.

Meanwhile I used the money the family gave me for Ivan’s things to go to Menard’s for a window air conditioner. The central air at my house has not worked all summer, and I’ve limped along on fans; but I thought the window conditioner might be a good use of my “Ivan money”.

A lot of people call their air conditioners AC. My air conditioner will be called IZ which sounds a little bit like icy, and I trust that’s how I will feel tonight while going to sleep in cool comfort but without a doubt will still be missing my Ivan.