death – JLM in Euroclydon

How Do You Pray?

How Do You Pray?

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to Me, and I will answer and show you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

James 4:1-6 1What causes conflicts and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from the passions at war within you? 2You crave what you do not have; you kill and covet, but are unable to obtain it. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3And when you do ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may squander it on your pleasures.

4You adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore, whoever chooses to be a friend of the world renders himself an enemy of God. 5Or do you think the Scripture says without reason that the Spirit He caused to dwell in us yearns with envy? 6But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing.”

Last week our pastor spoke about prayer, the Lord’s prayer, in particular, illustrating this as a great template for how to format our prayers and reminding us with his sermon title (To Whom Do You Pray?) the identity of the One to Whom we pray.

We all have need of our daily bread being given, our trespasses being forgiven, and freedom from temptation and evil. But what about those other needs? Things like healing, financial assistance, family problems, and a myriad of other things seemingly not addressed in the Lord’s prayer.

The Bible gives many examples of people praying for things they needed and or/wanted. Today’s scripture references show us why we should pray.

Wouldn’t you like to see great and unsearchable things you don’t already know, as Jeremiah promises?

I doubt anyone reading this is a killer, but certainly we have all coveted from time to time. And, we have all quarreled or fought with someone in our lifetime. Those are things that our human selves cause us to do when the things we want or think we need are not readily available.

The next verse tells us we don’t have because we don’t ask AND our motives are wrong, we want to “squander” our answered prayers on earthly things.

What follows is an example of what I believe was a wrong prayer prayed by a “good person” that, to which for some reason, YHWH said yes.

I’ll preface this by reminding you that the northern kingdom of Israel had no “good” kings, and the southern kingdom of Judah had only 8 of its 20 kings who were considered good.

One of those was Hezekiah. 2 Chronicles 31:20-21 says that Hezekiah was “good and upright and true before the Lord his God. 21He was diligent in every work that he began in the service of the house of God, and in the law and the commandments, in order to seek his God. And so he prospered.”

Later historically in a parallel history of the nation of Judah located in 1 and 2 Kings, in 2 Kings chapter 20 we find that In those days Hezekiah became mortally ill. The prophet Isaiah, the same one who wrote the book of Isaiah “son of Amoz came to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: ‘Put your house in order, for you are about to die; you will not recover.’” It sounds as though his death was imminent.

2 Kings goes on: 2Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, saying, 3“Please, O Lord, remember how I have walked before You faithfully and with wholehearted devotion; I have done what was good in Your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

4Before Isaiah had left the middle courtyard, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, 5“Go back and tell Hezekiah the leader of My people that this is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: ‘I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. I will surely heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the house of the Lord. 6I will add fifteen years to your life.

Did YHWH “change his mind”?

Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man, that He should lie, or a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?”

Yet, there are many instances where it “seems” like YHWH has changed his mind, including the one just described about Hezekiah.

In fact, this “changing” of YHWH’s mind resulted in the birth of one of the most evil kings in Judah’s lineup of kings. In addition, due to pride in self and the blessings which YHWH had bestowed upon him, just a few verses later in the same chapter verses 12-13 “At that time Merodach-baladan son of Baladan king of Babylon sent letters and a gift to Hezekiah, for he had heard about Hezekiah’s illness. And Hezekiah received the envoys and showed them all that was in his treasure house—the silver, the gold, the spices, and the precious oil, as well as his armory—all that was found in his storehouses. There was nothing in his palace or in all his dominion that Hezekiah did not show them.” Note, it was the king of Babylon to whom Hezekiah showed “his” treasures. The same Babylon who a few years later took the nation of Israel into captivity.

Trustworthy prophet of YHWH, Isaiah, was still in King Hezekiah’s corner, and he rebuked him, with the remainder of the verses of this chapter reading as follows: Then the prophet Isaiah went to King Hezekiah and asked, “Where did those men come from, and what did they say to you?”

“They came from a distant land,” Hezekiah replied, “from Babylon.”

“What have they seen in your palace?” Isaiah asked.

“They have seen everything in my palace,” answered Hezekiah. “There is nothing among my treasures that I did not show them.”

Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, “Hear the word of the Lord: The time will surely come when everything in your palace and all that your fathers have stored up until this day will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the Lord. And some of your descendants, your own flesh and blood, will be taken away to be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.”

But Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “The word of the Lord that you have spoken is good.” For he thought, “Will there not at least be peace and security in my lifetime?”

So Hezekiah repented, but no other great kingly acts are recorded about him as chapter 20 concludes with these final 2 verses:

As for the rest of the acts of Hezekiah, along with all his might and how he constructed the pool and the tunnel to bring water into the city, are they not written in the Book of the Chronicles of the Kings of Judah? And Hezekiah rested with his fathers, and his son Manasseh reigned in his place.

And there it, the 4^th word from the end “Manasseh.”

His evil acts are described in the next chapter of 2 Kings beginning with verse 2 “he did evil in the sight of the Lord by following the abominations of the nations that the Lord had driven out before the Israelites.”

Continuing with verse 3 “he rebuilt the high places that his father Hezekiah had destroyed, and he raised up altars for Baal. He made an Asherah pole, as King Ahab of Israel had done, and he worshiped and served all the host of heaven.”

And in verse 6 “He sacrificed his own son in the fire, practiced sorcery and divination, and consulted mediums and spiritists. He did great evil in the sight of the Lord, provoking Him to anger.” In my humble opinion, the act of “sacrificing a child to the fire” for personal gain and/or comfort is not any different than the act of abortion.

For these reasons and others, Manasseh earned the title of “the most evil king in Judah’s history”.

However. . . and this is a big however. . . in the parallel version found in 2 Chronicles 33, Manasseh was captured and tortured by a foreign entity.

While in captivity, in what was probably the lowest point of his life in verse 12 “in his distress, Manasseh sought the favor of the Lord his God and earnestly humbled himself before the God of his fathers.”

And verse 13 “the Lord received his plea and heard his petition; so He brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord is God.”

Manasseh’s life as relayed by 2 Chronicles concludes with verses 18-20 “As for the rest of the acts of Manasseh, along with his prayer to his God and the words of the seers who spoke to him in the name of the Lord, the God of Israel, they are indeed written in the Chronicles of the Kings of Israel. His prayer and how God received his plea, as well as all his sin and unfaithfulness, and the sites where he built high places and set up Asherah poles and idols before he humbled himself, they are indeed written in the Records of the Seers. And Manasseh rested with his fathers and was buried at his palace. And his son Amon reigned in his place.”

Because of YHWH’s grace, and Manasseh’s humility before Him, Manasseh concluded his life as a “good” king, and I fully expect to meet him in Heaven one day.

Romans 8:28 “we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.”

Because of Manasseh’s repentance and YHWH’s grace and mercy, his son Amon was born who was an evil king, but Amon’s son, Josiah was the most godly king Judah had in the entirety of its history. Josiah’s story can be found in 2 Kings 22 through 2 Kings 23:30 and 2 Chronicles 34 and 35.

All of them, Hezekiah, Manasseh, Amon, and Josiah are in the Lord Jesus’ lineage!

So, while Hezekiah’s prayer may have produced some bad things, in the end it all worked according to YHWH’s purposes and for the good of those who love Him.

So. . . returning to our original scripture in James, look at that last verse, verse 6 “He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Hezekiah’s pride hurt him and, indeed, his people. . . but when he humbled himself even though his motives may not have been 100% pure, he received grace. Manasseh also received grace.

WE RECEIVE GRACE.

Prayer is simply us maintaining our relationship with the One Who loves us the most. It doesn’t have to and, in fact, shouldn’t be filled with lofty words we don’t even fully understand. It doesn’t have to be lengthy. Listen to these words from Matthew 6 in the passage just before the Lord’s Prayer “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward.

But when you pray, go into your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

And when you pray, do not babble on like pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard.

Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.“

That is not to say you should not ever pray in public. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says “Pray without ceasing.” It is also suggested you look up the verse immediately preceding that one. Undoubtedly, some of the times you are praying, you will be in a public setting. But remember, although prayer in its most basic form is carrying on a conversation with YHWH, it should always be done in humility and worship of YHWH remembering His kingdom, His power, and His glory which will last throughout eternity.

Fiercely Loved in Euroclydon

Fiercely Loved in Euroclydon has been released to KDP for publication as a paperback and an Ebook.

It contains much of the text of my 2014 book Fearless in Euroclydon, which was only available (even to me) for about a year before the publisher went out of business.

I just finished the editing and cover creations for Fiercely Loved today and believe the paperback will be available on February 7, the 10-year-anniverary of the death of my husband, with the Ebook being available very soon (but not yet because I just checked).

Like the original, it details a variety of storms (Euroclydons) I’ve encountered as and adult with an added chapter formatted as a letter to my late husband describing hardships and blessings that have occurred in the past 10 years. One of the hardships (though I grow less inclined to call it that with the passage of time) is receiving a diagnosis of level-1 autism along with several other mental health diagnoses stemming from that. One of the blessings is how YHWH has used me in these later middle years of my life despite the weird wiring.

If you choose to purchase the book in either format, please let me know what you think.

Thanks, and shalom shalom.

Tree Tells a Story

When I was growing up Mom planted a sapling to the west of the house visible through the living and dining room windows. The tree grew and developed a beautiful shape, and each fall, it had the most glorious leaves. It was a sugar maple tree.

My first attempt at growing one came in approximately 1996 when I lived with my first husband on Lincoln Street in the town where our children were small.

The tree did well that first year, but sometime in the winter something broke the top half of it off. Since it had been a small tree, that reduced its height by about three feet. I wondered if it would live.

Often when I mowed the yard, YHWH would talk to me. That year as leaves popped out on the broken tree, it was as if He told me “That tree is you. It appeared to be destroyed by something. It appeared to be dead. But look! Life remains, and it will still be a beautiful thing to behold.”

My thinking, as it nearly always is, was about the past, that He was telling me something about how the dregs of my past would still result in great beauty. He was, but it was a bit more complicated than what had already passed. I’d had a difficult childhood due to severe bullying and my marriage was in its death throes. I thought this was His way of telling me the good times were about to begin.

Between 2 and 4 years later, on October 3, 1999, my marriage imploded. I don’t even know if that sugar maple tree remains, but I doubt it.

The kids and I left that home on Lincoln Street and embarked on a new life far (relatively) away.

In the spring of 2022, I restarted the sugar maple dream, and it became once again a (not the but a) route through which YHWH spoke to me.

When I planted it, it was about five feet tall. That fall, it didn’t put on much of a show with its leaves.

In 2023, to my surprise, a very tall branch sprang from the middle up toward the sky. For some reason, I’d thought new branches would appear all around the tree and be equally tall.

I continued to tend the tree carefully making sure to give it water in dry seasons. In the fall, the leaves of the lower branches did transform into things of beautiful colors, but not those on the tall branch in the middle.

This year, the same thing happened. The tall branch appeared in the middle and began to leaf out. A few weeks ago, the branches on the lowest part of the tree turned orange and yellow. Now, the branches in the middle part are turning. The leaves at the very top are still green. It may be memory is not working and the very top did change last year albeit very late. We’ll see what happens this year.

YHWH spoke to me again.

The growth I’m experiencing right now (yes, growth is possible even at the age of 63 or even 103) is happening but is not yet glorious. I need to wait on my Lord and His timing and keep renewing my mind (Romans 12:2) to make my thoughts more like His and hopefully be able to hear Him more readily when He speaks to me.

Shalom shalom, my friends.

What’s That Smell

This is the text of the first message I spoke from the pulpit after attending Licensed Local Pastor School in July. I’ve explained to a few people one specific conversation which set me on this course. That conversation was not the only factor, though. The biggest factor in this was what I believed and still believe was strong direction from God to do so.

I knew it would not be an easy course for 3 reasons:

The last time I was in school (aside from one college chemistry class 25 years ago) was 40 years ago. This really wasn’t an issue at all as I discovered in the prerequisite work that I love learning. The only reason I couldn’t enjoy it when I was a kid was because I didn’t know how to be a kid.
Differences in my interpretation of the Bible from what I expected the teachers would believe. Thankfully, we were all in agreement on the biggest issue, that of the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
Then, of course, there was my “weird wiring” to contend with. Black and white thinking, overthinking, taking myself too seriously, being too serious in general were all areas which I knew going in might be more problematic than any variances in theology. And they were.

Despite these things, my days in the school were highly educational. Some of the lessons I learned were not in their teaching plans; of that I’m sure. But I learned both what they intended and other things perhaps not intentional from both the teachers and students.

One of the Bible studies several students selected for their practice Bible study was the life of Abraham, particularly the initiation of his journey to the Promised Land. It was crazy how easy it was to liken Abram’s journey to the journey we students experienced stepping out of our life patterns (some of us even our life path, just as Abram did), to follow the direction of God.

It was not just a learning experience, though—it was a deeply rewarding experience. The closest thing I can compare it to is a Walk to Emmaus weekend except this was 10 days rather than 3. The Presence of God was tangible.

LLPS On July 25, I graduated with the rest of my class. The license itself can take up to two months to be issued, and I wait now to see if that is how the path will continue for me or if it will take a turn in another direction. In either case, I don’t doubt it will be exciting and a little scary. The last words of the New Testament Scripture cited below were “Find out what pleases the Lord.” By attending Licensed Local Pastor School, I believe I followed that directive.

Now, what is that smell?

Isaiah 65:1-5 ““I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.’
²All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people,
who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations—
³a people who continually provoke me to my very face, offering sacrifices in gardens and burning incense on altars of brick;
⁴who sit among the graves and spend their nights keeping secret vigil; who eat the flesh of pigs, and whose pots hold broth of impure meat;
⁵who say, ‘Keep away; don’t come near me, for I am too sacred for you!’ Such people are smoke in my nostrils, a fire that keeps burning all day.”

Ephesians 5:1-2, 8-10 “¹Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children ²and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” “⁸For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰and find out what pleases the Lord.”

If you were to think about smells, both good and bad, you could probably come up with a good list for both. Bad would undoubtedly include things like skunks, rotting things, and poop. Good things would consist of flowers, baking cookies, and men’s perfume (if you are a man reading this, sorry, I call it perfume whether it’s for men or women—always have—Rod got used to it eventually).

I did a Google search on bad smells. A study conducted at a university in Melbourne resulted in a smell so overwhelmingly nasty that it led to a mass evacuation of the university. That was the horrendously malodorous aroma of a rotting durian fruit. durian fruit.jpg A pastor/mentor friend who had the dubious honor of hearing this message at each of the 3 churches where I shared it on Sunday told me today that the durian fruit is not the worst smell known to man. As a retired EMT, he is aware of something far worse.

What about the things God smells? In the OT verse above something smells bad to God; in the NT something pleasant.

In 2008 contemporary Christian singer Ray Boltz, singer/writer of “Thank You” and “I Pledge Allegiance to the Lamb”, left the Bible-based faith, his Christian ministry, and his wife and 4 children to pursue an alternate lifestyle. In 2014 Dan Haseltine, front man for Christian rock band Jars of Clay made statements on Twitter that he was leaving the faith he had previously espoused. These are two instances of headline-making lifestyle choices made by people in positions of Christian influence. Two over the course of at least a decade.

In 2019 in the past month alone, there have been two more well-publicized accounts of men in positions of Christian influence abandoning their faith because the weight of the world and its enticements and their own desire for “happiness” grew too heavy for them to bear. First, we learned of Josh Harris, author of Christian bestseller of the late 1990s “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” who a few weeks ago left his wife and family then a couple days later stated he no longer considers himself to be a Christian.

A week or so after that, contemporary Christian worship band Hillsong songwriter, Marty Sampson, renounced his Christian faith declaring Christianity is “just another religion” and “it’s not for me”.

What in the world is going on?

Pun is intended. It is a problem of the world and the soul-led mindset. These men all reached the conclusion that could not be found with a Jesus mindset in this world, and they were not willing to wait for the next.

Throughout my faith-walk years, I’ve heard more than one pastor/teacher/evangelist state that and joy are not synonyms. is a state achieved through circumstance; joy is achieved through the blessing of God regardless of circumstance. That’s the direction I thought this message would take. However, my deeper investigation will not allow me to make this statement with 100% belief in its veracity.

becoming “The way to be truly happy is to be truly human, and the way to be truly human is to be truly godly.” This quote by Canadian-English theologian JI Packer does not mean to make yourself your own god as we’ll look at more fully later. It does mean to make yourself as much like Jesus, the One you follow, as you possibly can. It also nicely summarizes the contents of one of my favorite books “Becoming Who You Are” by Dutch Sheets.

Does the Bible tell us anywhere that we are to be “happy”? When I searched, I really didn’t expect to find anything. As expected, there were many more references to words with similar meaning to “happiness”. I found words/phrases such as “delight” and “desires of your heart” in Psalm 37:4; “joy” in Psalm 16:11 and Isaiah 12:3; “overjoyed” in 1 Peter 4:13; and “freedom from fear”, “grace”, “hope”, and “blessed” in many places.

But. . .

There were a few occurrences of “happy”.

The KJV Bible translates Psalm 144:15 as “happy is that people whose God is the Lord”.

2 Chronicles 9:7 reads as follows even in the NIV “How happy your people must be! How happy your officials, who continually stand before you and hear your wisdom!”

When I looked at the Orthodox Jewish Bible, I was unable to understand the translation; so, I consulted Strong’s Concordance #3107. The transliteration of the original word for both “happy” and “blessed” is makários.

In both Psalm 144:15 and 2 Chronicles 9:7 the people’s happiness results from a relationship with the Lord. All the men above would be called the current catchphrase of “Christian influencers” (try saying that phrase out loud—I don’t think I pronounced it correctly a single time in any of the 3 services on Sunday). As nearly as I can discern, influencer means “popular person”. These men, popular in their individual Christian circles, quite large ones, walked away from the faith at least partly because they were unable to find that elusive state of mind called .

These are the words of John Cooper, lead singer of Christian rock band, Skillet on August 14: “More and more of our outspoken leaders or influencers who were once ‘faces’ of the faith are falling away.” The Bible speaks of this (AKA apostasy) in 1 Timothy 4:1.

Look again at Isaiah 65:2 “. . . people pursuing their own imaginations” and verse 5 “Such people are smoke in my (God’s) nostrils” If you reread verses 2-5 in Isaiah 65, it is clear Isaiah is talking about “sinful” people, not those of faith.

How does God look upon sin? Can he look upon sin?

On the cross Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” The scholars who wrote the MacArthur New Testament Commentary believe this to mean exactly what it sounds like: because Jesus was bearing all sin, both the overall sin brought into the world in the fall and the sin of every human being who ever lived or ever would live, God turned his back on him.

This seems to be confirmed by Habakkuk 1:13a which reads: “Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; you cannot tolerate wrongdoing.”

Does this mean God is incapable of being in the presence of evil? That can’t be, because several times in the book of Job he had conversations with satan!

I like the explanation of Michael D Guinan, OFM, professor of Old Testament the gist of which states the reason for Jesus’ cry of abandonment on the cross was to fulfil the prophecy in Psalm 22. More than that, though, with the evil all around him in his humanity at that moment he could not feel God’s presence. Remember how he wept at the tomb of Lazarus even though he knew he would be restoring his life? Jesus on the cross, utterly sinless, bore the sin of the world in his soul, but I don’t believe God turned his back on him.

So, if God did not turn his back, how did He feel about all that sin in one place at one pivotal moment in history?

Going back once again to Isaiah 65:5 the smell of evil in God’s nostrils is bad. It is truly stinky. This is just my opinion, but I suspect it smells like something dead. That was confirmed today in my conversation with my pastor and his wise and informed statement as to what is really the worst smell known to man. Verse 2 of Isaiah 65 tells us the people generating this foul aroma were “pursuing their own imaginations.” Is this not what anyone who walks away from a relationship with God is doing? Hear what the people say in the first part of verse 5: “‘Keep away; don’t come near me, for I am too sacred for you!” If one is too sacred for God, does that not mean they have, in fact, made themselves God?

And therein lies the problem. Our imaginations (thoughts) get us into so much trouble. If you were to look up online any of the individuals cited above, you would find their difficulties started in their minds. Every time. James 1:14-15 “but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” In the original edition of my book Fearless in Euroclydon, there is a chapter devoted to “The D Word”. In its rewrite, currently in progress, there will be two dealing with two different kinds of death. It should be our prayer that anyone who makes a deliberate decision to walk away will return to Almighty God before their sin gives birth to death.

Brothers and sisters, it is imperative that we “cast down every imagination, and every high thing (idol) that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV)

Do you really want to be the thing of which others ask “Ewww. . .! What’s that smell?”

On the other hand. . .

If we learn so much about Jesus and his love that we discover how to love in the same way, we become the person that JI Packer described as “truly godly”; and the Bible calls a “fragrant sacrifice. . . “ Some other translations of these words: “Sweet-smelling savour” (KJV), “aroma of adoration, sweet healing fragrance” (TPT)

Then when others ask the question of us: “What’s that amazing smell?” we will know we are on the right track to fulfilling the great commission: making disciples of all nations.

Father, I ask that you remove from our souls (hearts and minds) the smell of sin and death that so permeates the world in which we live. Help us to have open spiritual ears to the prompting of your Holy Spirit so that we will hear, understand, and obey thereby having words that are a sweet, sweet sound in your ears and lives that are a sweet, sweet savour in your nostrils. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

PS Concerning that new (to me) word “influencers”, I’m in the process of reviewing a book for Barbour Publishing called Obedience Over Hustle by Malinda Fuller. hustle She writes of influencers frequently along with giving the word “hustle” the more traditional meaning rather than the one I am most familiar with which is cheating at pool. I should have a better understanding of both words and will post my review as a blog here first. I hope you come back to check it out. God bless you. JLM & JLY (think about it. . . )

Death & Life. . . No, Just Life

life is short, I wanna live it well

Today was Lois Byrne’s funeral.

Her daughter asked me to play the piano and accompany the soloist. Because my mother had the flu and couldn’t, I also gave a eulogy for her. It was all an honor and a privilege.

Lois has been in my life my entire life. I was born on a Sunday. My parents took me to church the next Sunday. Lois was there. From my childhood, I most remember her as a Sunday school teacher and Bible School (that’s what we called VBS back then) teacher. Back in the 1960s there were quite a few of us children learning the stories from her. When, at the age of nearly 17 I came to know Jesus personally, those early lessons were undoubtedly a part of the experience.

In recent years, I knew her as an encourager. She often complimented my piano playing. She would sometimes cry when I preached, and I allowed myself to believe it was because she knew she had a role in the faith I now have. Today we said good-bye to her in the same church where she taught children Bible stories about Paul, David, Joshua, and Jesus among others. Hers was a life well lived. It is a life she now enjoys in perfect health in Heaven; of that I have no doubt. When I think about Lois now I can’t help but think of the Ray Boltz song “Thank You” when I think about her walking the streets of Heaven. When I gave the eulogy my mom would have given, I added some of my memories to Mom’s.

It was difficult being a part of the service because the last one I attended was my husband’s. At the graveside on February 12, 2016, it was bitterly cold, windy, and snowing. Today it was cold and windy. I am thankful to God I didn’t have to go to the graveside; instead I went to the village hall to help set out the funeral dinner.

The church was packed out for her funeral. The pastor is a good friend, a confidante, and I could just hear her thinking—where are all these people on Sunday morning? 100+ people come to mourn, but those same people can’t come to receive life.

Of course, many of those people do attend other houses of worship. But our town has somewhere between 200 and 300 residents. Between the Methodist church and the Lutheran church across the street, both would be full to capacity if everyone in town attended one or the other.

This past Sunday, 4 days ago, I attended the visitation of a young man with whom my husband and I were acquainted. Rod was good friends with his parents. The man’s brother attends Rod and my church in Lincoln. Afterward, I went to visit Lois and her daughter and pray with them. An hour later, Lois was gone.

It seemed like a week of death because right in the middle of those, yesterday, February 7, was the 2^nd anniversary of the date Rod went to be with Jesus. Next Wednesday, Valentine’s Day and this year Ash Wednesday, would have been his 58^th birthday. When I checked Facebook last night, there wasn’t a single mention of him. Not even by me. Life goes on, but he is not forgotten; I know he is not.

To say I miss him still is an understatement.

Like Lois, he poured so much into my life, albeit at the other end. And like Lois, he probably didn’t even realize it.

Before I met him, the life I lived was that of one who was just going through the motions. I was attempting to live for God, had been doing so for years, but there was no overcoming. I was looking forward to heaven, but there was no enjoying life in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13). My children were nearly grown, and I was scared to death that God was going to leave me a broken person, useless, no longer relevant in any way, unable to find victory in any area of my life.

He did not.

He loaned me Rod for a few precious years.

Rod loved me, a person utterly unlovable, unworthy, insignificant, at least by any person who was not related to me and was not God.

Rod loved me; even while God was using him to bring healing and rejuvenation to my soul, He also used him to help restore my body after a serious battle with cancer a year and a half into our marriage.

Rod loved me. Even after 6 years of marriage when he was finally beginning to see I wasn’t always the “blessing” he had proclaimed me to be in the first year of our marriage, but I was a real person with some serious flaws, one being an extreme distrust of just about everyone. My favorite nonbiblical quote is one by Shakespeare, “Love everyone, trust a few, do wrong to none.”

I had good reason to be distrustful. Rod had more reason than I; yet he continued to love. Me and everyone else he met.

My negativity never rubbed off on him. Laughter was his primary expression.

More than one person has suggested to me that God placed this angel in my life for 6 years to help me become me, the me God created me to be. It sounds right, but how can it be? Rod was a wonderful person in his own right; his ministry had to be more than that.

When we married at the ages of 48 and 49, I believed we would live out the rest of our lives together; and I intended to make sure those years were the best ones of Rod’s life. I hope they were. Aside from the years my kids were born, they were certainly mine.

Now that he’s been gone from me for 2 years, I find myself fearful (fearful? she who wrote a book entitled Fearless in Euroclydon? she who knows there is a verse in the Bible regarding fear for every single day of the year?) at times of reverting into the person I was before Rod came into it.

In addition to the fear, there’s the apathy. I recently read a blog post by a writer who believes apathy is the greatest hindrance to walking out the Christian life. Another teacher shared the same thoughts. And, with the prayers of my dear husband on my behalf no longer wafting up to God daily, I feel that very thing attempting to make its insidious way in. Apathy seems akin to stagnation. Both are death.

Yet, in the funeral of a dear saint of God, there are many reminders of the life of God in the midst of death. Apathy can’t withstand a life lived in faith because faith is the opposite of death; faith is life. Today more than one person testified they’d never heard Lois complain, not about anything, ever. Rod lived life with such joy, as he lay in his casket I observed that the funeral director couldn’t completely get the smile off his face.

Lois and Rod both exemplified the faith life; if either of them ever experienced apathy, I never saw it. They lived their lives well to the very end. They lived life which death cannot defeat.

O death, where is thy sting? Some believe Shakespeare said that, too, though others say not. Not having read him, I cannot say for certain one way or the other.

I have, however, read the written Word of God, and He said it first through the apostle Paul in his first letter to the Corinthian church chapter 15 verse 55.

Death has no sting. It is the beginning of life for those who know Jesus. For those of us who remain, it brings the good memories and encouragement of a life well lived. “Life is short, I wanna’ live it well.” Line from Live It Wall by Switchfoot 2016