surrender

Book Review Innkeeper’s Daughter

I rece Inkeeper's Daughter ived a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing and was under no obligation to post a review.

Wow!

This is the first novel I’ve read by this author. Now I’m going to have to look for her earlier work. It has been many decades since I’ve read a Regency Romance (think Barbara Cartland). What a pleasure it was to return to this sub-genre.

Ms. Griep has created a world of contrasts—good/evil, light/dark, despair/hope, unbelief/faith, and bad guys/those who seek to bring them to justice. The book was so well written, it was many times difficult to tell into which category the secondary characters fell, and I found myself flip-flopping on cheering them on versus hoping they would hurry up and get caught.

As for the principal characters, Johanna and Alex are an intriguing pair of individuals; after they meet captivating. The romantic element is strong and believable, and the many action sequences are paced well enough to allow the reader a chance to catch her breath in between.

There is one secondary character (or perhaps pair of characters is a better description!) who is utterly fascinating and one of those of whom it was difficult to decide whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. There is another I hope to see in a future novel, and I’ll keep my eyes out for this.

The Christian themes of trusting God in trying circumstances and looking for the best in people despite what our senses tell us are threaded throughout the book, but this in no way diminishes from the plotline, and anyone will enjoy this book regardless of their faith status.

I am adding Michelle Griep to my list of must-read authors.

Leaning Into Jesus

walking-in-the-spirit
Today I was about to step on the scale when I heard God tell me “Don’t do it.” I was obedient. Since the first thing I usually write in my journal is my weight, today I wrote “No weight today”. Then God started talking to me some more.

Those words “NO WEIGHT TODAY” primarily were written due to the fact that I didn’t step on the scale. But what jumped out at me was the other type of weight.

a : burden, pressure

the weight of their responsibilities

from Merriam-Webster

leaning NO BURDEN TODAY. Jeannette (my coach at Finding Balance) has told me more than once to “lean into God”, and my best friend and spiritual mentor has told me over the past 2 days more than once that God has told her I’m under tremendous stress and to simply relax in Him. They kinda’ mean the same thing, and it sounds like God really wants me to get this. I will not bear any of that heavy weight of stress today.

But He wasn’t done yet. A Bible study I’m doing referred to Romans 8:6, and I happened to read the Amplified which said: “⁶Now the mind of the flesh is death [both now and forever—because it pursues sin]; but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace [the spiritual well-being that comes from walking with God—both now and forever];” Notice God says the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. Sounds like relaxing in God to me.

water rock Next, the same study instructed me to read 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 which read “³and all [of them] ate the same spiritual food; ⁴and all [of them] drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ. ⁵Nevertheless, God was not well-pleased with most of them, for they were scattered along the ground in the wilderness [because their lack of self-control led to disobedience which led to death].” In the wilderness the supernatural food (manna) and supernatural water (from the Rock) came day by day, and what came on one day was not good for the next day. Application: God was feeding and watering me today, but that won’t be good enough for tomorrow.

And finally, I realized the above verse wasn’t actually 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 at all; it was 1 Corinthians 10:3-5. So I looked up the verses in 2 Corinthians, and they said “³For though we walk in the flesh [as mortal men], we are not carrying on our [spiritual] warfare according to the flesh and using the weapons of man. ⁴The weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood]. Our weapons are divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. ⁵We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ,” Taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ for me at this point in my life means especially all those thoughts that bring about stress. Right now, those are most of my waking thoughts. The only thoughts I can think that are beneficial are those from God, to be found in His Word and through other ways He communicates with me.

Can I do it? Most assuredly not! But when I lean into God and relax in His arms, He is more than capable of doing what I cannot.

Perfect Isn’t a Thing

In my quest to memorize the chapter of Romans 8, I last memorized verse 5: For those who are dominated by their sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.

romans Time for verse 6: So letting your sinful nature control your thoughts leads to death, but letting the Spirit control your thoughts leads to life and peace.

The meaning behind this verse permeates the online Bible study I’m currently doing. Every participant in the study is trying to reach the place where the Spirit is in control (perfection).
untitled
Today in the online webinar I learned perfect isn’t possible. It isn’t even a thing. Uggh! Even for this overthinker, because my overthinking is overlaid with a tendancy to put everything in black and white, this is very hard to procsess, but . . . I will attempt to do so.

I would assume the teaching refers to our bodies (sinful natures) and souls; i.e., our humanness. Because our spirit, the main part of us, was already complete (perfect) when it came to life at our salvation. If our spirits were in control, we would not have to achieve perfection; it would already be present.

Unfortunately most of us live with our humanness in control, rather than our spirit. We are not predominately led by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it’s not possible to be perfect in this life, it is not possible to be 100% Spirit led 100% of the time. The goal is to each day give up a larger percentage of our self (body & soul) to the control of the spirit alive within us who are born again.

There is a song currently popular in CCM called “Hard Love” by the group Need to Breathe. One of the lines goes like this: “It’s not enough to just feel the flame. You’ve gotta burn your old self away”. This is so radical. I don’t even like feeling the flame! Burning my old self away? But consider: When we let God “burn away” our old self (humanness/sinful nature) we will be free to experience life, real life, and peace of the supernatural variety rather than sin and death through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 7:24 & 25), the only human being who ever was or will be perfect.

Note to me: Quit trying to be perfect, let the Perfect One lead you.

Devotionals

What do you think about them? Love them? Disdainful of them? Letting them collect dust on a shelf? Don’t throw them out yet. God speaks in a variety of ways, and today He spoke to me through one of them.

I have at least half a dozen—probably closer to a dozen—different devotionals in my library. Jesus is Calling, Pearls of Great Price, Starting Your Day Right, among others, and I have read daily devotions from each of them on various occasions, sometimes even from more than one at one sitting. I also have a couple I receive as emails.

Earlier today I read a blog by someone who had issues with devotionals in part because they sometimes take Bible verses out of context. I respect this particular blogger; she is spiritually wise, and she makes me think.

A minute ago as I sat down to write, I saw My Utmost for His Highest on top of a stack of books next to my computer and picked it up. The focus verse for today is Isaiah 45:22 “Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.”

This goes along well with an online Bible study I just became involved in which advises against following our own plans to solve our problems. Rather, we lean into God or turn to him.

In previous years, I have been taught that repentance requires tears and brokenness. Undoubtedly, turning from our own will and intellect and looking to God does require brokenness, even ultimately coming to the end of one’s self, but I don’t believe God always requires the production of tears before He will consider a heart repentant. In the right situation that even seems like it would be kinda’ fake. Don’t get me wrong—there are those who cry easily, and tears in those individuals could show true repentance. Even one who doesn’t cry easily may sometimes be overwhelmed by the magnitude of God’s love for her in spite of a willful and sinful heart.

So I did some research and found that the Old Testament word for repent is “sub” which in today’s jargon is a shortened form of the word substitute. Think of when a benched athlete is replaced with a sub. Perhaps the player being benched is wiped out, perhaps he has committed too many offenses to participate in the game well. It doesn’t mean he is no longer in the game. It only means he needs a sub.

I need a sub. I need to turn. To God.

God is talking to me, telling me to forget my own plans for salvation from bad habits. These plans have never worked and have little likelihood of working in the future. This was taught in the online session last Tuesday of my Bible study. “Forget your plan.” “Lean into God.” I didn’t understand it. How can this bad habit be eradicated without a plan?

My overthinking brain tries to plan everything! How can God expect me to give up this plan? Surely I will fall into total abandon to the sin.

God is stronger than my plans. God is stronger than my sin (bad habit). God is wiser than my intellect can begin to comprehend. So today, this minute, 10:54 am on January 22, 2018, instead of thinking about my plan, I turn to Him, sub my plan with my Abba Father, and I will be saved.

Father, I pray that everyone who reads these words, including me, would remember that this turning is not a one-time thing; it must be done daily, hourly, minute by minute, and even moment by moment. I pray we take captive every thought produced by our mind, examine it, store it or cast it away, relinquish our plans, and turn to you.

fire

Today I made a sacrifice.

I spent the morning at one of my jobs working alone on a once-a-year project. My current favorite binge food was right there next to the computer.

Yesterday at OACF there was a prophetic word spoken that chains were being broken. I was at the altar before the Lord at the time, and I took this as a Rhema word for me. That the chains that held me prisoner to my stomach were being broken.

Yet here I was sitting at work 24 hours later with my go-to binge food at hand.

I started Grace and Strength back on July 26, 2-1/2 month ago. My first month in the program I lost over 20 pounds! Then the 2^nd weekend in September, I took my eyes off Jesus and settled them on the waves (recent loss of husband, home, and worldly identity) and fell in. That resulted in an 11-pound weight gain in 2 days!

But Grace and Strength didn’t kick me out then . . .or today when I reported to my coach my struggles continue. I thank God for April.

I also felt God telling me to take the remains of my binge home and burn them on a sacrificial fire symbolizing my complete surrender of my will with regard to food. I felt led to pray “Father, from this point on, may I run to you the way I ran to this food today.” I didn’t add “Replace the pleasures derived from consuming this with a pleasant sensation or other good reason to do so.”

Then just a few minutes ago I heard Francis Chan speaking about a sin with which many Christians are judgmental. He lumped it together with all other sins as being a problem of lack of surrender. They way he stated everything absolutely made sense. He stated there may be something God asks us to do that we absolutely do not want to do. If we don’t do it, it is sin. We MUST do it. God is God and we are not.

So God brought everything back into perspective. My church’s tagline is “Church of a Second Chance” Thank God the word “Second” is just a word, and his mercies are new every morning—infinite.